Winds of Change

My sojourn into the garden this morning felt rushed. A rain storm was moving in from the west, causing the wind to gust, its darkened clouds quickly stealing my light.

I was disappointed to see that the first Datura bloom of the season that I've had a chance to photograph (the plant is not cooperating with my work schedule – choosing to bloom after I've left for work and wilting before I return home) had been systematically devoured by a malevolent slug-like creature.

7-19-2006 8-43-46 AM 0115a

We don't use pesticides to rid the gardens of potentially harmful visitors, our belief that all insects/critters have a right to roam our gardens and use the plants as sustenance. Some plant damage is to be expected.

This poor fellow, however, over-stepped the bounds of his host and paid with his life. You DO NOT mess with my beloved Datura!

Perhaps it was this agitation or the resulting moment of violence (and death), but the majority of the photos I took were CRAP. Plain and simple. I'd like to blame it on the camera/lens, but it wasn't their fault. I've noticed a pattern where if my head isn't "in it", the photos tend to come out un-focused, nay, blurry.

Thinking back to this morning, I can honestly say that my mind was un-focused, causing everything around me to be blurry. I'm on vacation for the remainder of the week. Today's weather, while disappointing, was actually wonderful – we needed the rain that fell all morning. Even though I'm on vacation, work-related things are hanging ominously over my head…

I received confirmation that my boss is on his way out. I'm not surprised by this development – only that it took this long for the story to play out.

As might be expected, I'm nervous about how this will impact the department – OK, ME. I know how it's going to impact my boss – and that just leaves me…. My paranoia level is at RED at the moment. I have convinced myself that I will be out of a job in the near future. This line of thought is silly – I'm pretty sure that I don't even show up as a BLIP on senior management's radar screen. Also, and perhaps more importantly, getting set free from there would be the best thing to happen to me in 12 years! (If this is what is going to happen, I'd wish they'd do it sooner than later – I might not have taken three days of vacation this week if I knew that I was going to have the rest of my summer free…)

When it rains, it pours. I learned via an email from a former colleague that a position that I had applied for (at his insistence) a month ago at his company was filled internally. While I was disappointed to miss out on this potential opportunity, I was pleased to learn that they had received over 30 internal applications – and had filled the position from within. I appreciate the fact that a company recognizes their employees.

Later in the morning, my head-hunter's colleague left a message regarding the status of job that he had contacted me about two weeks ago. I was immediately interested in the position/company – only 5 minutes from home, $15K+ more than I'm currently making and a company that is growing. Unfortunately, his message didn't offer any tangible information – had they chosen to fill the position internally, were my credentials insufficient, what, what? I returned a call to him but got his voice mail. He didn't return a call for the remainder of the day. (His silence has led me to conclude that I'm no longer a candidate for the position…. And I'm disappointed and saddened by my conclusion.) Then, again, it appears that job searches these days are often protracted events. At least that's what I hear from colleagues who have made a break from my dysfunctional workplace. (The grass isn't always greener on the other side, just not as weedy.)

[Editor's Note:  The position was filled with a former candidate who had also been recommended by a senior manager.  Can't win 'em all.  Although I still want to get in at that company…]

My insecurity, coupled with the thought of unemployment, led me to call into work and volunteer that my plans for tomorrow have changed and that I'll be in town should they need me for the payroll wire releases… Of course, this means that I'm now tied to home for the day just in case they call. D'oh.